For years, I’ve been addicted to nicotine lozenges. I quite smoking nearly sixteen years ago, but about nine years ago, I thought I’d try nicotine gum and bam! I was hooked. I grew tired of the gum, so I moved to lozenges. I never gave the habit much thought until I quit drinking, and even then, I figured there was no point in giving up both nicotine and alcohol. So I let it mostly pass from my mind until yesterday when I bought two containers of mini-lozenges and thought I don’t need this. It’s a mood-altering substance, and I can manage life without it.
It’s a bold move, though not as bold as quitting drinking. Nonetheless, I’m removing another long-time pillar of support from my daily life. I’m stepping out in faith that after a few days of crankiness and unease, I’ll return to life without nicotine and will be healthier.
I’ve also upped my sugar intake lately, which has been actually quite wonderful. After denying myself from certain foods for so long, it’s amazing how good a simple cookie tastes, or a piece of pie, or my current favorite, cake. I’m not gaining weight, but I’m also not losing any, and I could stand to shed a few pounds. That’s not going to happen when I’m stuffing my face with pumpkin bread or pouring syrup on waffles.
As I write this, I’ve just had my last nicotine lozenge. It dissolved in my mouth and my body tells me automatically to search for another, but instead I’m going to pop a piece of strawberry gum. If I can learn to live sober, I can learn to live without nicotine in my system.