I love the Beatles and especially “Nowhere Man.” I first heard the song when I was young and remember being struck by how sad the lyrics were. But there’s hope in them, too, since “the world” is at Nowhere Man’s “command.” The speaker in the song pleads for Nowhere Man to listen, to recognize his greatness and emerge from the Nowhere Lands. After all, making nowhere plans for nobody is no way to live.
I was like that for a long time. When drunk, I came up with a lot of plans but rarely if ever took steps to execute them. I was making plans for nobody.
I have a lot of plans now, but I’m pacing myself. My tendency is to jump head-first in something and get a bit obsessive and crazy. Well, more than a bit. All that energy is productive at first, but it drains away pretty quickly and I’m left scratching my head, thinking, Hmm. I don’t really want to finish this.
So, in no particular order, here are some short-term goals I have for myself:
1) Begin submitting poems to markets – Before my first child was born, I was quite focused on writing and submitting, but it wasn’t poetry then. It was stories and a YA novel called Seven Feet Small. The book’s pretty much dead in the water, and my stories come in bits and pieces…but poetry has taken off again. I think I’m a better poet than fiction writer, and I probably have a better chance at publishing if I focus my time and energy into submitting poems.
2) Continue working on music – My wife bought me an acoustic guitar recently, and I love playing it. I’d like to incorporate guitar into my compositions, but I need to practice more. Not like crazy, “wood-shedding” practice sessions that make my fingers bleed (it isn’t the summer of ’69, after all), but I’d like to be nimble enough on the fretboard to record something in a take or two.
3) Photography – I dug out our old film camera and have been taking pictures. The camera’s a automatic/manual Canon Rebel, so you can just point and shoot or adjust the camera for specific pictures. I have quite a bit to learn about film photography…or relearn, I should say. I was into picture taking and developing in middle school, taking a class in photography and working in the dark room. I did the same thing in college. I’m not looking to turn a closet into a dark room or anything, but there’s something comforting about dropping off a roll of film to be developed and then picking up the pictures. I like snapping photos with my phone, too, but the physicality of film cameras and the result they produce is appealing.
4) SMART Recovery – In addition to AA meetings, I want to learn more about SMART Recovery. Perhaps some of you have heard of it. From the SMART Recovery website:
The SMART Recovery 4-Point Program® helps people recover from all types of addiction and addictive behaviors, including: drug abuse, drug addiction, substance abuse, alcohol abuse, gambling addiction, cocaine addiction, prescription drug abuse, sexual addiction, and problem addiction to other substances and activities.
Our 4-Point Program®
The SMART Recovery 4-Point Program offers tools and techniques for each program point:
1: Building and Maintaining Motivation
2: Coping with Urges
3: Managing Thoughts, Feelings and Behaviors
4: Living a Balanced Life
I joined the online SMART community the other day, and I’m looking through everything else the site has to offer when I have time.
I think those are enough goals for now. I feel a nap coming on, though it’s only 7:45 AM. I woke up early and walked the dog, had a bit of breakfast, and took a shower. Now my oldest is awake and watching Phineas and Ferb, and my eyes are closing as I type.
Have a good, sober Sunday, everyone.
Music listened to while writing this podcast: