I have a week off before I start teaching again, and the break couldn’t have come at a better time. I was worn out. I’m always tired by the end of the semester, but I suppose the weariness this time was compounded by staying sober. It didn’t strike me until the other day that I made it through the entire semester sober. That’s impressive.
I’ve been reading a lot, too. I just finished Augusten Burrough’s memoir Dry, which was quite good. His rehab experience wasn’t mine, or is his recovery experience, but I recognized a lot of myself in his writing. It’s worth a look.
I sat down the other day to write some music because I actually have time to do it, and the result was less than stellar. I figured it would be because I didn’t really want to write music; I just thought that I should. I finished the song and shut everything down and told myself that it’s okay to take a break from music. It’s not going anywhere. Writing isn’t going anywhere, either, and it’s okay to take a break from that, too.
I accept myself as I am…or I’m trying to, at least. I don’t have to also be productive and creative. There’s time for naps and video games. There’s time for meditating and reading and just sitting in my chair.
It’s good to let go of these story-lines. It isn’t always easy, of course, but it’s worth it.