Sick, Sober, and Still a Baby

About a month ago, I thought, You know, when I get sick, I bet I’ll be able to handle it better. I won’t have to worry that I can’t drink or drink as much, and with all my new-found peace with meditation and Buddhist practices, I’ll calmly accept my sickness and view it as just a learning experience.

Well, that’s not the case. I have a little cold–we’re talking sneezing, coughing, and a low-grade fever–and you’d think I had yellow fever or something. I walk around (or sit in my chair) and announce to my family that I don’t feel well, as if they didn’t already know that. Really, people can assume correctly that I feel awful until I announce that I’m better, but do I subscribe to that notion? Of course not. I wheeze and sneeze from my chair and groan when I get up and remind my children that they’ll have to wait to eat because I’m sick. I’ll get to making lunch eventually.

It turns out that I’m just as irritable and self-pitying when I’m sick as I was before I got sober. I guess that’s understandable. It’s not like sobriety and meditating has turned me into a monk. And I bet some monks complain when they get sick (unless they’ve taken vows of silence, and even then, I bet they complain to God).

Lord, I feel like poop.

Lord, I feel like poop.

Life is suffering and all that, and I want to feel better. There’s not much to be done except get through it. This time, at least, there won’t be a drink waiting for me at the end.

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About Robert Crisp

Just a lad who likes to create.
This entry was posted in addiction, alcoholism, buddhism, early sobriety, mindfulness, recovery, sobriety and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Sick, Sober, and Still a Baby

  1. I used to drink hot toddies when I was sick. Complete with whisky or rum. I told myself it was nature’s NyQuil. (Now, I don’t do NyQuil, either.) I hope you feel better soon.

    Ella

    PS–Still working on my fledgling (recently re-started) meditation practice. Thanks for the inspiration.

    Like

    • Robert Crisp says:

      Thanks. I can’t do NyQuil, either, which I’m sure would have helped me fall asleep before 2 AM…but I would have also consumed half the bottle. Ugh. I’m sure I’ll shake the cold soon enough. Hope you’re well.

      Liked by 1 person

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