I survived my first vacation as a sober man. I did more than survive; in fact, I enjoyed parts of it. When I felt overwhelmed, I retreated to the cabin to write, read, or listen to music. I attended my first out-of-town AA meeting and loved it (and got my first 90 day chip. My home group uses marbles). My family was supportive and understanding, and no one encouraged me to tag along while they went to the beach. Ugh.
Last night was our first night back home, and I was pretty worn-out. My kids fell asleep on time, and I climbed into bed around 10:15. For the first time in about a month, I had a drinking dream. And boy, was it a doozy.
In the dream, I was half-way through a bottle of red wine with plans to drink a second one before I said to myself, “What the hell am I doing? I’ve nearly got 100 days!” I couldn’t figure out how it happened. I woke up soon after that–after waking up in the dream and still dreaming, which was difficult to untangle this morning–and felt immediate relief. I then proceeded to sleep right through my alarm. Oops.
I’ll make 100 days of sobriety Wednesday, just in time for my wife to go out of town for three days. I’ll be in charge of my two boys, and I won’t be able to make any AA meetings. I’m going to my after-care group tonight, which will be helpful, but I’m used to going Fridays and sometimes Wednesdays to my home group.
I made it through my vacation without drinking, and I’m up for the next challenge. I choose to believe that I’ll have fun with my kids. We’ll rent a movie on Friday, have pizza and root beer, and stay up late. My oldest son calls it “boy time” when my wife goes out of town, though my youngest is still clingy with Mama. He’ll be okay, though, and so will I.
Still, it wouldn’t hurt for you fine folks to send prayers and good thoughts my way starting this Wednesday. I’d be much obliged. *tips hats*