Well, maybe not the world, exactly. My city, my house, my work…all of which encompass my world, don’t they? If all reality is perception anyway, and there is no self, and there’s no difference between you and me, then that is the world…isn’t it?
I’ve made it to 80 days sober, which is a big deal. As I’ve said before, I usually get pumped up at the “off time” sober markers (not that any period of sobriety should be considered greater or less than another). My home group does 24-hour, 30 day, 60 day, and 90 day marbles. I’ll happily jump up at get my 90 day marble ten days from now, and I’ll celebrate privately on this 80 day milestone.
I didn’t have a drinking dream last night for the first time in five days, so that’s a relief. Two nights ago, I dreamt that my wife and I were acting out a scene from Streetcar. I was Stanley and my wife was Blanche. I was pretending to be drunk in the scene, and I recall doing a bang-up job of it. I wonder why.
Even though I slept poorly last night, I didn’t wake up thinking it would be a good idea to get smashed before 10 AM and then continue drinking my day and night away. I was a bit shaky as the day started, but I felt better as I started moving and grooving throughout my morning, teaching my classes, and reflecting on 80 days of sobriety.
I know I’ll have dark spells again; I know that the urge to drink will return, and I’ll combat in the same way as I have been: freaking out, but also talking to people, going to meetings, and reading the Big Book and Living Sober (which I’m starting to like quite a bit).
Here’s to another 80 days away from the bottle. Carry on, sober people.