First, I made it to 32 days sober. I’ll get my 30 day marble tonight because I told some folks I would. I should be…happy? Proud? Encouraged? No.
As I’ve mentioned before, Katie has me working through A Gentle Path through the 12 Steps. At first, I was skeptical, then I dove in. Now I’m back to skeptical…and cynical. I stopped at the section that asked me what I would do if my doctor told me I had six months to live. Maybe it was a year; I don’t know. I don’t really care, because my answer would be the same: drink.
I would get as much wine and vodka as I could afford and starting pounding it back, day and night. I’d also get a carton of Marlboro Lights and start smoking again. I would do my best to kill myself through drinking before whatever disease got me, and I bet I’d succeed. Turns out I’m a really good drinker.
Good thing I don’t have terminal diagnosis this early in recovery.
That’s all, folks.