Talisman – an object, typically an inscribed ring or stone, that is thought to have magic powers and to bring good luck.
These are my recovery talismans. Well before I started drinking, I identified with certain objects and carried them with me. I had a rabbit’s foot for a while, but that didn’t do it for me. My grandparents had all sorts of trinkets and keepsakes around their house, and I loved combing through them. I have my grandmother’s jewelry box in which I keep my treasures. I need talismans to keep me going on this journey because I imbue them with power.
The first is my clear oval of glass that inspires me to stay sober for 30 days. I’m on day 14 now (I misspoke the other day when I said I had 13 days). The second talisman is my grandfather’s watch. It no longer works, but it’s a lovely piece, and I may repair it one day. Instead of numbers, the watch spells out my grandfather’s name: Bruce Colbert. The watch keeps me grounded and reminds me that time isn’t terribly important (I’m rather obsessed with time, but I hope that will lessen as I progress through recovery).
My final talisman is one of my granfather’s safety token’s from Alabama Power. He lost no time due to an accident in the year 1952, and the token reminds me that while I need to stay grounded and in the moment, the future is out there and I want to tackle it sober. I’m only committing to going to bed sober tonight, but it would be wonderful if I made to February 5, 2016, with a year’s sobriety under my belt. I’m not getting cocky, but it’s a good goal.
I just started the AA book and love it so far. I see myself in the opening pages and continue seeing myself as I read further. My sponsor and I agreed that I would get through Step One before I meet with him next Saturday.
If you don’t mind, I’m going to do a check-in. My head is remarkably clear and calm, though a bit worried about the upcoming week. My heart is troubled with guilt and shame, but the pain is manageable. My body is tired, but I’ll probably wake up again at 5:00 to get work done.
Thanks for the continued support. I feel the need to get out some poetry and stories, so I’m going to attend to that. More to come.