Here I sit the night before my 30th day of sobriety, listening to the lovely Tori Amos (Under the Pink, one of my favorites of hers) and relaxing with a cup of decaf coffee. The Giant Talking Ass graduated from the program tonight, and while I’m not sad to see him go, I learned from him. I learned patience and tolerance, for one thing, so that can’t be bad. We have a few more graduations coming up, and in three more weeks, it’ll be getting that “high framable” certificate.
Something one of the guys said last night is still resonating with me, and I thought I’d share it. He overheard this in an AA meeting: you know you’re in trouble when your life’s disintegrating faster than you can lower your standards.
Sit with that one for a while. I know I did. I’m still sitting with it and remembering the night I stood in my kitchen and admitted to myself that I would eventually drink myself to death…and I accepted it. That made sense; it felt right.
And then I poured myself another drink.
That, my friends, is fucked up.
For the musically curious, I’m writing instrumental songs about my recovery. It’s pretty dark stuff right now, but hopefully some lighter tracks will appear in time. Once I get another song out, I’m also going to make an EP available on my BandCamp site. Once I get further into recovery, I’ll do another EP. I doubt anyone will buy them, but you never know.
Keep up the good fight, my sober friends.